dear summer fridays

it's been a little over three years since we first met. i was a recent college grad just entering the workforce and you were a staple of office life in publishing companies. i was just starting as an assistant, and you were entering your umpteenth year of giving office workers a half day on friday after flexing their hours during the week. we've been through our ups and downs, but i just thought i would say this: i love you.

i'll admit that that first summer, i was confused. confused about why, exactly, you were in my life and confused about what, exactly, i was supposed to do with you. i didn't take advantage of all you had to offer. i used you for doing laundry, or watching law and order reruns. what was i thinking?

i definitely learned my lesson and the next summer, that was our best. i used you for lunch with my friends, leaving early for weekend trips, and sitting in the park. it was like a vacation day every friday afternoon and yet i was still working the same amount of hours and getting the same amount of work done.

last summer, well, that was a different story. we grew apart. i was stuck at the office working long hours on fridays while you strutted around with all my friends. gone were the days of friday afternoon lunches or weekends away. heck, i would have even taken an afternoon of law and order reruns! i was pretty angry with you at the end of last summer, i must say.

but then, a few months ago, they tried to take you away from me. not like last year, where i just had too much to do and couldn't actually spend the time with you but they tried to tell me we couldn't spend any time together at all! not even if i was able to! well, that got me all riled up. riled enough to fight and win you back.

it's been a rough year for us, but we've made it through stronger than ever. now, i actually cherish a friday that i spend doing laundry, but still make plans to go out to lunch, too. and, every once in a while, we spend some time apart and i work the whole friday. i've learned that you give me the freedom to do what i want, when i want. and that is why i love you.

greatness

i wrote a post a while ago about how as i have grown up, my goals in life have shifted from the concrete (novelist, journalist) to the ideal (to be happy). the problem with that is it's hard to quantify ideals. what does it mean to be happy? how do i achieve that?

i've been thinking about this recently because i am really happy. it's that wonderful, comfortable, content sort of happy. the kind of happy where, when sitting alone on my couch, i let out a deep breath and smile. just because. why is it that right now i am so happy? and how can i get this to continue?

it occurred to me that while creating my goals as a kid, i didn't want to be a non-selling author. i wanted to be a best-selling author. i didn't want to be a mediocre journalist, i wanted to be a great journalist in an exciting city. in reality, my goals were never about what i wanted to be, they were about being great at what i was doing.

i don't think i would have ever picked publishing media as a job when i was 10. (did i even know that it existed when i was 10? unlikely.) but here i am, succeeding, making a career, and enjoying my co-workers. i have a great job where i am constantly trying to be great.

i dreamed of living the fabulous new york life with a cool apartment, but it turns out that the cozy, easy life of boston is where i really feel at home. apparently boston has cool apartments and fun things to do, too.

i always imagined that i would meet good friends in college, but the reality of those friendships turned out to be much harder, but much more rewarding in return. i learned that some friendships were worth working at, and the ups and downs would make them stronger in the end.

there are times where my job isn't going well or my friendships are in down cycles in which i am less happy. but those hard times are what help me to grow and come out better--greater--on the other side. all i can do is try to live the greatest version of my life and be the greatest version of me that i can be. then, the happiness will come.