for the first time in my life, i live alone. no roommate, no family, just me and those possessions i deemed worthy enough to box up and move with me. going into this situation, i knew there were going to be perks (yes, i did just leave my dishes in the sink for two days without washing them, thank you very much) and drawbacks (my stuffed animals don't talk back), but what i didn't realize was how my outlook on life would be drastically altered. the time i get in the shower in the morning is no longer determined by when it will be free, but rather when i need to get in there to get to work on time. that 78 pound box of furniture that i ordered without knowing the weight is no longer something for a group of people collaborate on carrying, but rather a way for me to meet the new neighbors as i bring up pieces of the table in 5 different trips. weekday evenings are no longer something that just pass by without much thought or effort, but rather events to be for which i need to plan.
honestly, i was frightened by these weekday evenings of being alone. five whole days of just me and nothing else. what does someone who lives alone do with four hours a night? i worried i would go crazy holed up in a studio apartment with no cable, no roommate, and no pet. immediately, i started to think of things i could do at night that involved leaving my apartment. the less time surrounded by no one the better. the first thing that came to mind was laundry. the building i live in does not have any laundry machines in it, and the nearest laundromat is about a five minute walk away, so i figured one night a week i could do laundry. it would get me out of the apartment, take up some time, and be productive.
little did i know, that my focus on doing laundry would help me cope with the new lives-alone version of myself. first, it gave me purpose in figuring out how to plan for and get through my other nights alone. it turns out that having small, mundane goals for each night is exactly what i need. doing a load of laundry only takes an hour, but it somehow makes those four hours easier to get through. i now try to come up with a small goal for every night of the week. some nights i make myself a nice dinner, others i watch a movie, and sometimes i even make a goal to clean my apartment. that small bit of direction to start out the evening makes the rest of it feel like something to enjoy--a reward for accomplishing what i set out to do.
now that the laundry has helped me figure out how to structure the rest of my life, i realize that i actually enjoy going to the laundromat. that's right, laundry, a chore i used to hate doing, is now something i actually enjoy. how did that happen? logistically, doing one load of laundry for an hour a week is much better than doing two, or three, or even four at a time once a month. one load isn't that heavy and takes very little time to fold. hanging out at the laundromat isn't even that bad. i can read my book and i've even made friends with the man who works there. so if i ever feel like i am missing out on social interaction by living alone? i can just go do some laundry.
as i was sitting in the laundromat tonight, i realized doing laundry once a week wasn't just about making my life a little easier, or talking to some random people about cats. it's not that i don't mind doing laundry now, i actually have a fondness for laundry that was never there before. when i felt like my life was spinning in many different directions and i couldn't see anything through the fog of alone-ness, the simple act of doing laundry helped me center, focus, and move forward. is it weird that i now have an emotional attachment to doing laundry? probably. but every week for a few moments as i sit and watch my clothes spin around and around in the dryer, i am reminded that if i can do laundry on my own and have it be okay, i can do anything on my own and have it be okay.
