goals

from childhood, we are forced into having goals. my answer to the "what do you want to do when you grow up question?" has always been something to do with writing, though it has varied over the years. my answer to "what do you want to be when you grow up?" has remained the same: i want to be happy.

now that i am in the phase of my life where i have to realize my goals, i am having trouble figuring out what it means to be happy. while reading the leon uris book trinity, i stumbled across the following quote from a man discussing the idea of heaven equaling eternal happiness. it sounds good in theory, he supposes, but it could get pretty dull after a while. He continues:

"It seems that we have to have moments of turmoil to contrast to moments of peace in order to truly understand and appreciate that peace....What we have confused is the belief that heaven and paradise are the same. So long as we are capable of moments of paradise here, we ought to cherish them."

life's greatest moments wouldn't be as sweet if there weren't a little despair to juxtapose it against. a happy life does not mean being happy at every single moment. it means that the happy moments - the moments of paradise - more than make up for the moments of despair.

so why is it so hard to come to that conclusion with a job, as well as with life?