old soul

one of the biggest things i have learned about myself over the past several years seems to be one of the simplest--what i like to do. i began to notice that what i would ask my friends to do was a bit different from what they would ask me to do. one saturday night in college, instead of finding a party or a bar to go to, i had my two best friends over to make a gingerbread house in our pajamas. another time, a large group of us took a trip to the amusement park six flags. while everyone else was lining up for the roller coasters, i asked them all to ride the antique cars with me. even when i was beginning to hang out with and date my boyfriend, it was a little different than other people. our dates would consist of walking around the neighborhood, or sitting by the river and watching the boats. these days, i love spending saturday nights playing board games.

looking back, one of the best parts of this story is that my friends will totally humor me. they will do the things i want to do and actually have fun doing them. unfortunately, i had a harder time accepting this than they did. many times i felt myself feeling left out as all my friends were off doing something else. they would usually invite me, but i didn't want to do what they were doing. i did, however, want to be hanging out with them. i would also feel like i was crazy. there must be something wrong with me, i would think. why didn't i want to go to that house party with those people i didn't know? isn't that what people my age are supposed to do? instead, i wanted to do the things my parents and their friends wanted to do. or worse yet, i would want to do what everyone's grandparents wanted to do. this was clearly a problem.

recently, though, i've come to terms with this part of myself, and a large part of it is due to one phrase. my fourth grade teacher once told my mom that i was "an old soul." even when i was eight, she could see it. having an old soul seems like a compliment. it seems like something that i have that other people don't. it seems like it is a privilege to have. just as i was starting to embrace this idea of myself, my manager at my job told used the same exact phrase to describe me! if two completely unrelated people use the same phrase about me it must be true.

now i realize that what i have viewed as a problem all these years is actually just evidence of a larger character trait, and this character trait is something that i really like about myself. so if i like that i tend to be mature and composed, i will also like that i enjoy my valentine's day plans involve brunch and playing monopoly all afternoon.