respect

this weekend, i went to a minor league hockey game in portland with my dad. i am actually a big hockey fan--especially college and minor league, so i was excited to be at the game. as often happens, though, i became distracted by watching a few different groups of people around me.

first, i focused on a group of about seven twenty-something kids we were sharing the row of seats with. most people attending the game were with family, so these people immediately stuck out. then, they started to get up about every ten minutes in pairs and leave to go to the concourse, always going past my dad and me on their way out. often times, they would come back with beers. the other times i imagine the left to relieve themselves from all of that beer.

the other group of people that caught my eye was in the section next to us. when i first noticed them, there were about six kids and one dad to watch them all. as the game went on, it seemed like more kids showed up and the parents took turns watching the kids, who all wanted to sit together close to the ice, while the off-duty parents sat a bit higher up. i see groups like this all the time at BU games. I figure the majority of the kids are on a hockey team together, perhaps one or two are friends or little brothers who have tagged along for the ride. the parents know each other from the kids games. one or two are probably the coaches who think seeing a professional hockey team will be great for their team.

as the hockey game was winding down, i realized that these two groups i had been watching had a very similar situation happen to them, and each had dealt with it very differently. one of the girls in the same row as us accidentally spilled her beer. i didn't get on any of our things, but it was all over the floor, sending an odor of beer to waft around us. her reaction? get another beer.

a few minutes later, i saw one of the young kids in the section next to us spill his soda. when i checked in on him later, he was cleaning up the mess with some napkins. there wasn't much time left in the game, but i did see that he never did get a new soda. unlike the girl who spilled her beer next to us, the kid had to take responsibility for what he did, and deal with the consequences.

while the two (soda kid and beer girl) were drinking different liquids, i think the main difference in their reaction to the situation is the presence of the authority figure. soda kid had to answer to his parents (or whatever adults were watching him). he still believed that adults could punish him and enforce certain rules. beer girl didn't have that--and not just because she was not at the game with her parents. as a twenty-something, your parents can't control you anymore. they can give you advice, but they can't tell you what you should and shouldn't do. they have to hope that you will choose to clean up messes on your own, even when there is no one there to tell you to.

i can't tell you how many times people have told me that my twenties are the time when i will find myself and discover who i truly am. they say it is a time to push limits and think about myself. they say that being a teenager is when you defy authority. that must mean that in your twenties you just ignore it. i do think being in your twenties is a good time to do some soul searching, i just hope i can take time to clean up my beer spills along the way.